Five Second Movie Reviews

I have gotten way behind on my movie reviews, so I’m gonna knock ’em all out in one post!

Ratings guide:
5 stars = I LOVED it!
4 stars = I liked it
3 stars = Either boring and I probably fell asleep or mildly entertaining trash
2 stars = So bad I couldn’t fall asleep because I was too busy hating it
1 star = You will never see this rating because it means I turned the movie off before I finished it

Arbitrage
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 85%
My rating: 4 stars
The title makes it sound boring, but this film starring Richard Gere was much more interesting than I thought it would be.

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Beasts of the Southern Wild
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 86%
My rating: 4 stars
I thought this was going to be weird and sci-fi but it was a sweet movie about a charming little girl. Great acting.

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Christmas Vacation
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 63%
My rating: 4 stars
This National Lampoon movie is a classic and family favorite. So many hilarious and quote-able scenes.

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Django Unchained
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 89%
My rating: 5 stars
My favorite movie of the year! Amazing acting by the entire cast. Quentin Tarantino at his best.

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Friends with Benefits
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 71%
My rating: 4 stars
Cute, not-so-typical rom com starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Do not watch with your parents though!

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 86%
My rating: 5 stars
My favorite movie of 2011! Made me love Daniel Craig. A murder mystery suitable for all audiences other than those graphic, disturbing rape scenes…

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A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 76%
My rating: 4 stars
A coming-of-age film starring three of my faves (Robert Downey Jr., Shia LaBeouf, and Channing Tatum).

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Home Alone
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 54%
My rating: 4 stars
Another classic Christmas movie. Have to watch it every year.

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Hope Springs
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 74%
My rating: 2 stars
My mom and I both hated this movie. Also, not an appropriate movie to watch with your parents. Tommy Lee Jones is a grumpy weirdo who’s afraid to touch his wife.

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Horrible Bosses
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 69%
My rating: 4 stars
Pretty damn funny, especially the Jennifer Aniston/Charlie Day storyline. Love Jason Sudeikis too.

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The Impossible
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 80%
My rating: 5 stars
The most underrated film of 2012. So intense and touching. I cried basically the entire time. Naomi Watts deserves that Best Actress Oscar.

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Inglourious Basterds
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 88%
My rating: 5 stars
I watched it again to see if it was better than Django Unchained. They are both so good; I couldn’t decide!

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Killing Them Softly
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 76%
My rating: 3 stars
Decent but slightly boring mafia movie.

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Les Misérables
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 70%
My rating: 4 stars
I was skeptical but it was good. A bit long. Anne Hathaway singing “I Dreamed A Dream” was heartbreaking and Oscar-worthy.

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Life of Pi
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 88%
My rating: 5 stars
Another one I was skeptical about (thought it would be boring) but it was so good! I am a Richard Parker fan for life.

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Lincoln
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 90%
My rating: 3 stars
I fell asleep several times. Snore fest! The ending was decent though and Daniel Day-Lewis was amazing and deserves the Best Actor Oscar.

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Love Actually
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 63%
My rating: 5 stars
My favorite Christmas movie and romantic comedy. So many beautiful love stories.

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Mean Girls
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 83%
My rating: 4 stars
Glad I watched this movie again after so many years. Too bad Lindsay Lohan wasted away her talent.

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One for the Money
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 2%
My rating: 3 stars
Ouch! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Rotten Tomatoes rating so low. It was a cheesy romantic/action comedy but it was mildly entertaining.

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The Paperboy
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 38%
My rating: 4 stars
Another underrated film from 2012. I really liked this movie although the ending sucked and John Cusack was a disgusting creep. And oh yeah, that awful rape scene.

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Ping Pong Playa
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 66%
My rating: 3 stars
Randomly watched this on Netflix while babysitting. Definitely a B movie was it had some funny scenes.

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Safety Not Guaranteed
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 91%
My rating: 4 stars
A surprisingly sweet movie. I loved Mark Duplass (currently on The Mindy Project) but I wish Aubrey Plaza could play a character besides the monotone April from Parks & Recreation.

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Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 55%
My rating: 4 stars
Another unexpected gem. A funny, cute film which oddly throws Kiera Knightly and Steve Carell together.

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Side Effects
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 86%
My rating: 4 stars
Much more interesting than you think it is going to be. Do not read any reviews/spoilers before you see it!

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Silver Linings Playbook
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 92%
My rating: 5 stars
Loved everything about it… Bradley Cooper (who I usually don’t care for), Jennifer Lawrence, Robert DeNiro, and especially the final dance scene!

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Skyfall
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 92%
My rating: 4 stars
The first Bond movie I’ve ever seen. It was good and Javier Bardem was amazing although the flashlight scene drove me insane. Turn it off!

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Snow White and the Huntsman
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 48%
My rating: 2 stars
So boring. Mirror Mirror was way better.

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Step Up
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 19%
My rating: 4 stars
Sorry, but I love this movie. Channing Tatum and awesome dance moves… What more could you want?

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Ted
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 69%
My rating: 2 stars
The teddy bear is Peter Griffin with a Boston accent which was annoying. So bad it was actually funny at times.

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This is 40
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 51%
My rating: 4 stars
Pretty funny although slightly annoying movie about turning 40. Better than I thought it would be.

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The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 48%
My rating: 2 stars
I don’t know if I just got too old for Twilight or if they stretched the movies out too far. I loved the books and liked the first and third movie but this one just sucked.

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Walk the Line
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 82%
My rating: 4 stars
Who doesn’t love this Johnny Cash/June Carter movie? I love Reese Witherspoon. Great singing as well.

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Warm Bodies
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 79%
My rating: 4 stars
A zombie love story. Funny and sweet.

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The Words
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 22%
My rating: 4 stars
Very interesting premise that plays out well. But does Bradley Cooper ever not play an asshole?

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Wreck-It Ralph
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 85%
My rating: 3 stars
I’m not a fan of kid movies (with the exception of a few Disney classics) but this one I took my nephew to see wasn’t so bad.

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Zero Dark Thirty
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 93%
My rating: 4 stars
Not nearly as boring as I thought it would be. Jessica Chastain is a great actress. But it makes me doubt if they actually killed bid Laden… They didn’t seem to spend much time verifying his identity.

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